I have gone with nothing for too long and I don’t want to continue to do so. When I moved to CA I packed my car with the most important possessions I had. The only possessions I had. When I found out I couldn’t move back to LA and I had no choice but to let someone take my car to donate it and ship me what belongings were left, I was severely devastated and lost.
I may not love Massachusetts, but Massachusetts is where I am. I am going to use this opportunity to finally get myself together… the right way. I can’t wait to finally start school! I am even excited about the Gen Ed stuff. But, honestly, I cannot wait to be in an environment where I can not only have equipment to use and learn from, but to network with people just as passionate about the arts as I am. Not to mention how connected to the entertainment industry Emerson is, period.
Living in Mass may not be exactly what I want, but what matters is getting to a point where I don’t have to always be in a position I don’t want to be in, but need to get out of.
I had a fear about going to school. It made me so nervous that I was going to devote that much of my time/life to something. It would mean once I made the decision to go and apply to college, I am in it for the long run. There would be no turning back. Then, when I thought about the age I would be graduating (depending on a few things the ages are 27, 28, 29)… I WILL BE FRICKEN 30 WHEN I GRADUATE! That also discouraged me from wanting to go to college.
I felt that by 30 I should already have a career-not starting one!! But then I also thought about where I am now. Nowhere.
Do I really think without learning a trade that I could ever really be happy with where I end up in my future? I don’t want to be in retail or fast food my whole life. Making minimum wage or close to it, struggling from paycheck to paycheck. I also wouldn’t want to be a stagehand again.
I was a stagehand for 3 years and my word it was so much fun!! I met so many great people who I am still friends with today. I got to experience a life style most don’t get the chance to. And it was a job I actually enjoyed. Until I realized I am as far as I will ever go with that job. I knew if I stayed at that company, or any other production company, I would always be just a stagehand. With that thought in mind I moved to LA to find more.
I did find more, but I also accidentally found my way back east too. Either way, I put down the clock and took out the compass. I cannot focus on the time or my age, I need to focus on the direction I want to be heading. It all starts with you. It may never be a quick and easy path. Heck, it may not even be something you are enthusiastic about doing at first. Just remember, every step taken is another step closer to where you want to be. Put in the time and effort, use diligence and perseverance, and you will succeed.
Concentrate on the joy you will get from doing something with yourself! Even though I have to learn Gen Eds for a BA, I am still excited to learn, have homework, and feel useful! Keep the big idea in mind, feel it in your heart, and you shouldn’t find it hard to make it through and to make yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment