In the Beginning

Published on March 19th 2011.   
Link to a picture set of my journey

Before I officially start giving real time updates I feel as though I should include the beginning of my journey.  I will try to briefly (HA! you call this entry brief!?) catch you up from past to present.

    When I was a little girl I lived both in front and behind the camera.  All of my time spent was dressing up, performing, and recording everything onto VHS.  When you are little, you believe you can be anything you want. Unfortunately, I was forced to grow up at a young age and lost my dream of being involved in the entertainment industry.  At that time my only concern was trying to find a paying career.  Some careers I had started but never finished include: Licensed Nursing Assistant, Emergency Medical Technician, Pilot, Mechanic, and Veterinarian Technician.  I had an interest in the things listed above… I loved animals, aviation amazed me, I wanted muscle cars, and I thought it would be a fulfilling feeling to help those in medical need.  I started every single one of those jobs with good intentions but quickly found myself quitting them almost as soon as I started.  That is when I began paying close attention to the Incubus song “Nowhere Fast”.  I would sing to myself “Will I ever get to where it is that I am going? Will I ever follow through with what I have planned?”  “Will I ever get to where I’m going? If I do will I know when I’m there? If the wind blew me in the right direction, would I even care?” and of course I sang “It feels as though I am going nowhere really fuckin' fast.”  The meaning behind those lyrics, as well as many Incubus songs, lead me on a journey to discover myself and my calling.

    I guess it is safe to say I was on the "make yourself" journey pretty much my entire life.  It isn't so much that I didn't know what I liked and didn't like. It was more of a struggle to find what I would be happy doing as a career. I didn't know all of my options back then. This caused me to believe that the things I enjoyed doing weren't realistic choices.

    To my surprise, I have experienced a lot of the things I didn't think were realistic.  When I became a stagehand for concerts I was suddenly backstage watching and meeting my favorite musicians... HOLY CRAP! (breaks out singing Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody)

    From there I networked with the road crew and had the opportunity to tour with a Disney show all over the west coast. The more I networked, the more I found myself in different places all over the world learning from experts in the live music field--while also partying with the bands. It wasn't until a certain magical night in London where I had my first epiphany. I knew I wanted to be a part of "the business" and this was my way in. It also meant I would have to move to Los Angeles.  Luckily for me I made a contact with someone who lives in LA and was more than willing to help me locate a gig at the company he worked for.

    With triumph also comes hurdles.  I moved out to Northern California (my first stop before LA) and during my first week there I received an email informing me that there was no longer work for me at my friend's company. I made the decision to still go ahead with my move to LA and in doing so other doors opened for me. Although, so did tragedies.  I somehow landed a job at the Hollywood Bowl as the production assistant, along with paid acting gigs. My first roommate did post-production, and my second roommates... well... I appreciate that they offered their home to me during a hard time.

     To my discovery, I realized I have known all along what it is I want to do with my life.  The entertainment industry had been there all along I just never thought working in it was a realistic idea.  It was the four months in LA and being involved in the industry where I realized all the aspects of the business I could get involved in.  I realized that being just an actress was not the only path. That is when I started searching for colleges.

    Then it suddenly came to an abrupt end. I flew home to New England to visit my boyfriend, friends, and pseudo family. With every attempt to return to LA something would happen to prevent me from leaving the east coast.

    With my last attempt I ended up in the ER and used my free flight voucher to head back to Boston where I had free health care.  During which time I lost where I was living in LA along with my belongings.  I had become temporarily homeless and my whole world fell a part.

    In time I was able to move in with my boyfriend.  He supported me through everything and helped me get back on my feet. My boyfriend is a graduate of Berklee College of Music. Watching him work as hard as he does while also learning of how hard he worked to put himself through college, inspired me to finally make the commitment to do the same. That is when I became Emerson bound! 

    I found out, however,  it wasn’t going to be as easy as I hoped it would be.  I had been out of school for six years and had only a GED.  I realized I needed more than that if I was going to apply and even be considered for Emerson.  After a lot of research I found Bunker Hill Community College where I also discovered the Next Step Scholarship that Emerson offers to transfer students.  

    Even though it was going to be an extra step before being able to go to Emerson I was extremely excited to get the process rolling.  I have been enjoying Bunker Hill ever since.  This is the first time in my life that I have stuck to something.  It feels good to be able to say that.  I have never been more passionate and focused.