My only concern about transferring to Emerson is...

 ...the lack of diversity.

I have spent the last two and half years at Bunker Hill Community College. A place so diverse we have students from close to 100 countries attending and 75 different languages being spoken on campus. Heck, I’m the minority…and I LOVE it. I have never found another place so open and accepting of every kind of person. I have never once been judged for my beliefs, economical background, personality, or how I dress. I am accepted and liked by many for who I am. We are all accepted and liked for who we are— differences and similarities alike.

Will I be able to say the same when I attend Emerson College? The one complaint I have heard from many students is that Emerson has close to zero diversity. Unless of course you are talking about the variety of rich, privileged, sheltered, white kids. The thought of that kind of atmosphere actually makes me nervous. I don’t want to be put back under the same microscope I was under during middle school and high school. I don’t want to be in an environment of adolescent minds that lack wisdom, insight, and real world experience.

With that said, no matter the environment I will not allow it to affect my progression as a filmmaker. Nor will I assume every student is like that. Innocent until proven guilty, right?

As I usually do, I will keep a positive outlook and focus my thoughts on the relationships I will build while at Emerson. I have never been one to let anything get in my way or discourage me from my path. I am beyond excited to finally start studying TV production and take an active role in the clubs, organizations, and opportunities offered by Emerson. I have waited my entire life to fulfill this desire of mine. The majority of my life was spent trying to figure out how to be involved in what I love to do. Finally, I have found my way.

Tickle those ivories!

I put on some classical music and suddenly I'm in the mood...

 ...to blog.

 Yesterday was the last day of filming for Plastic, a short film written, produced, directed, and starring my friend John. I had a pretty significant role, I suppose. My character expressed the most emotion. Which was a really cool experience for me. I haven't acted in quite some time and since my initial awakening back in July I have been taking steps towards being an actress once again.

You can view my post about rediscovering my love for acting here: The Flame Flickers No More

I have been working on my anxiety when in front of new people or a crowd. So far I am pleased with the results. I do not over analyze nearly half as much as I use to. I am much more confident in who I am and my abilities. I am not a professional by any means, but I now have the courage to put myself out there in order to gain experience, learn, and grow. This role in Plastic gave me the opportunity to push through my insecurities and emote. I'd say it wasn't half bad considering. 

Being a part of Plastic not only gave me the opportunity to act and assist in directing, but it also gave me the opportunity to network with a group of people who are just as passionate and enthusiastic about film and production as I am. I can tell we are all going to continue to collaborate on each others projects in the future. Which makes me extremely happy. Finally, I am finding those who take the arts seriously. I look forward to what is to come.

On another note, I am submitting my Common Application materials to Emerson tomorrow. I have a folder filled with all the required materials I cannot submit online. Then, before January 22nd, my essays will have been proof read and revised, making my application ready to submit! AHHH!

Well, I am off to watch Doctor Who and cuddle with the boyfriend. <3 

Good night.

A folder to my future

So, I have this folder. It contains all the extra documentation needed to apply to Emerson College. I am awaiting one last letter of recommendation before handing it in to the transfer counselor at Emerson. Once I hand in this information the only thing left for me to finish is the revisions of my essays--then away goes my common application.

I can't help but open this folder at least once a day. It seems unreal that I am finally applying to my dream school. It feels like yesterday that I applied to Bunker Hill and had a whole degree in front of me before making it to Emerson. Now, here I am.

I have one semester left at Bunker Hill. I know it is going to be a good one. I am currently registered for two courses (in order to qualify for financial aid you must be registered for at least 6 credits) Intro to Mass Media and Level 2 German. January 11th I'll find out if I am selected to go on the Costa Rica study abroad, and if so that will be a third class added to my schedule. And another goal I put my all into to achieve. Fingers crossed.

The end is in sight. And with every ending comes a new beginning. I have put all of myself into this and I am so excited for what is to come. I know in life things don't always go according to plan and no matter what my future holds I will make the best of it. I always do.

I can feel my future in the air

Published on April 9th 2012
Link to original post

I am seven courses away from graduating with my associates degree at Bunker Hill Community College. This both excites and terrifies me at the same time.

I am a year away from Emerson. And once I become an Emerson student I will be two years away from graduating with my BA and starting work in my career field. That thought scares the shit out of me.

When you are younger all the things you want to do with your life are but mere dreams. You fantasize about the future, what you want to accomplish and who you will become.  I am on the verge of no longer dreaming.

Now, I am not saying my exact dreams are coming true or that I will ever really stop dreaming. Nor am I specifically referring to my fantasies. What I am referring to is the fact that my future doesn't seem so far away anymore.  I am close to starting my career and by George that makes me feel so old...and dare I say "grown up"?

I also worry that my expectations won't be met. What if Emerson doesn't do for me what I always thought it would? What if my hard work isn't enough and I am never met with opportunities? What if everything I have dreamed my life would be, isn't at all how it ends up?

I guess those are the things you have to deal with as you get older. I may not know what is in store for my future, but I can promise to never stop working toward making my dreams come true.  Let's just hope I am not met with disappointment.

I know life doesn't always go according to plan, but I hope that whatever it is I am meant to do, it will bring me happiness.

Make Yourself

Published on May 17, 2010.

I have gone with nothing for too long and I don’t want to continue to do so. When I moved to CA I packed my car with the most important possessions I had. The only possessions I had. When I found out I couldn’t move back to LA and I had no choice but to let someone take my car to donate it and ship me what belongings were left, I was severely devastated and lost.

I may not love Massachusetts, but Massachusetts is where I am. I am going to use this opportunity to finally get myself together… the right way. I can’t wait to finally start school! I am even excited about the Gen Ed stuff. But, honestly, I cannot wait to be in an environment where I can not only have equipment to use and learn from, but to network with people just as passionate about the arts as I am. Not to mention how connected to the entertainment industry Emerson is, period.

Living in Mass may not be exactly what I want, but what matters is getting to a point where I don’t have to always be in a position I don’t want to be in, but need to get out of.

I had a fear about going to school. It made me so nervous that I was going to devote that much of my time/life to something. It would mean once I made the decision to go and apply to college, I am in it for the long run. There would be no turning back.  Then, when I thought about the age I would be graduating (depending on a few things the ages are 27, 28, 29)… I WILL BE FRICKEN 30 WHEN I GRADUATE! That also discouraged me from wanting to go to college.

I felt that by 30 I should already have a career-not starting one!! But then I also thought about where I am now. Nowhere.

Do I really think without learning a trade that I could ever really be happy with where I end up in my future? I don’t want to be in retail or fast food my whole life. Making minimum wage or close to it, struggling from paycheck to paycheck. I also wouldn’t want to be a stagehand again.

I was a stagehand for 3 years and my word it was so much fun!! I met so many great people who I am still friends with today. I got to experience a life style most don’t get the chance to. And it was a job I actually enjoyed. Until I realized I am as far as I will ever go with that job. I knew if I stayed at that company, or any other production company, I would always be just a stagehand. With that thought in mind I moved to LA to find more.

I did find more, but I also accidentally found my way back east too. Either way, I put down the clock and took out the compass. I cannot focus on the time or my age, I need to focus on the direction I want to be heading. It all starts with you.  It may never be a quick and easy path. Heck, it may not even be something you are enthusiastic about doing at first. Just remember, every step taken is another step closer to where you want to be. Put in the time and effort, use diligence and perseverance, and you will succeed.

Concentrate on the joy you will get from doing something with yourself! Even though I have to learn Gen Eds for a BA, I am still excited to learn, have homework, and feel useful! Keep the big idea in mind, feel it in your heart, and you shouldn’t find it hard to make it through and to make yourself.