I think I have uncovered one of the main reasons I have been holding onto memories as much as I have been recently. Not only is it winter, so I have the seasonal depression kicking in... but because I have zero things going on. Zero exciting things, anyway. Yes, I graduate in June, I go to Costa Rica in May, and have several other little adventures planned. But, all of that feels so far away. I feel as though I am moving at a snails pace to get to them too.
I have a really laid back last semester. I am on campus only 3 days a week now. I spend my free time being creative which also makes it harder for me to get into my coursework. Being at home alone so much also leaves me plenty of time to be in my head. This can be a good and bad thing. Unfortunately, in the last few days, due to the winter, AND that special visit women get once a month, it hasn't been as good.
For someone who loves to wander and is never in one place for too long, I have been in one place too long. I need more travel. *sigh* I'm getting there.
Showing posts with label costa rica. Show all posts
Showing posts with label costa rica. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Stuck In the Middle With You
I am feeling "stuck in the middle."
I am nearing the end of my long journey to Emerson which has taken three years of hard work, little to no sleep, and a lot of self-motivation. After working so hard for so long I have a rather laid back last semester. I am taking one class which only meets once a week. This has opened up more hours for me to work and much more time to myself. I even started to write a script! I haven't written a proper script since eighth grade. Even though that is how I wanted to spend my last semester before starting up the hard work again I keep finding myself eager to get to the point where I can actually start making money working in TV.
I have built a great academic resume and have years of experience working with a large diverse population of people along with a ton of other useful skills... but none of which could get me in the door to TV Production yet. As far as I know, anyway. When I browse through friends Facebook pages, a lot of whom have finished their undergraduate degrees, they are either working in their field or in grad school while also working in their field. I get so envious of this! I know my time is coming but I am just so eager to be there.
It just seems like all these people get to just live there lives doing all these exciting things while I am stuck here, not doing anything special per say, as I go through my transition. I know I will do exciting things in my future but it's the waiting part that feels like it lasts forever. I only submitted my application to Emerson 10 days ago and it already feels like an eternity. I keep going in circles of checking the Emerson Portal (even though I know nothing has changed), going to the BBC work experience page and day dreaming about possible future internships, researching Emerson acceptance rates, reading and re-reading the different Transfer Student info pages at Emerson.edu, drafting my prospective Emerson class schedule if accepted, researching the clubs and organizations I want to join while a student at Emerson, and so many other internet searches on the things I want to get involved in.
I can't stop anxiously waiting for May. May 15th is Emerson's decision notification day... My future depends on that decision. I can't help but be consumed by thoughts, concerns, and anxiety. That, and I seriously cannot wait to go to Costa Rica. Which, just so happens to start on May 18th. May is going to be a big month for me. Unless, of course, Emerson informs me of a decision before May. In which case, I suppose May will still be huge because I'M GOING TO COSTA RICA!!
I just can't wait to be living my dream. I can't wait til I am traveling, making TV magic happen, and making enough money to finally fully support myself, my needs and wants, and Ryan. I can't wait to be meeting big names and making a big name for myself. I can't wait to experience more of life and continue to grow as a person. I can't wait to give back to my community and help good causes. I just can't wait to have a life beyond college.
I am nearing the end of my long journey to Emerson which has taken three years of hard work, little to no sleep, and a lot of self-motivation. After working so hard for so long I have a rather laid back last semester. I am taking one class which only meets once a week. This has opened up more hours for me to work and much more time to myself. I even started to write a script! I haven't written a proper script since eighth grade. Even though that is how I wanted to spend my last semester before starting up the hard work again I keep finding myself eager to get to the point where I can actually start making money working in TV.
I have built a great academic resume and have years of experience working with a large diverse population of people along with a ton of other useful skills... but none of which could get me in the door to TV Production yet. As far as I know, anyway. When I browse through friends Facebook pages, a lot of whom have finished their undergraduate degrees, they are either working in their field or in grad school while also working in their field. I get so envious of this! I know my time is coming but I am just so eager to be there.
It just seems like all these people get to just live there lives doing all these exciting things while I am stuck here, not doing anything special per say, as I go through my transition. I know I will do exciting things in my future but it's the waiting part that feels like it lasts forever. I only submitted my application to Emerson 10 days ago and it already feels like an eternity. I keep going in circles of checking the Emerson Portal (even though I know nothing has changed), going to the BBC work experience page and day dreaming about possible future internships, researching Emerson acceptance rates, reading and re-reading the different Transfer Student info pages at Emerson.edu, drafting my prospective Emerson class schedule if accepted, researching the clubs and organizations I want to join while a student at Emerson, and so many other internet searches on the things I want to get involved in.
I can't stop anxiously waiting for May. May 15th is Emerson's decision notification day... My future depends on that decision. I can't help but be consumed by thoughts, concerns, and anxiety. That, and I seriously cannot wait to go to Costa Rica. Which, just so happens to start on May 18th. May is going to be a big month for me. Unless, of course, Emerson informs me of a decision before May. In which case, I suppose May will still be huge because I'M GOING TO COSTA RICA!!
I just can't wait to be living my dream. I can't wait til I am traveling, making TV magic happen, and making enough money to finally fully support myself, my needs and wants, and Ryan. I can't wait to be meeting big names and making a big name for myself. I can't wait to experience more of life and continue to grow as a person. I can't wait to give back to my community and help good causes. I just can't wait to have a life beyond college.
Friday, January 11, 2013
Costa Rica Bound
After a night of doubt, the results are in... I'M GOING TO COSTA RICA!!
Last summer I started to research the Costa Rica study abroad program offered through my school. The more I learned about it the more I had to go on this trip! I spent the next several months writing and perfecting my essay and application requirements. I also spent months preparing myself for the interview. During random parts of my day, every day, up until the interview, I would ask myself questions I thought would be asked during the interview. I even started running several days a week to start preparing myself physically if I were to be chosen.
The night before the interview I stayed up late writing out bullet points and answers to memorize. I had to make sure that in the case of blanking out because of anxiety, that I wouldn't! I sat and rehearsed my answers for hours. I put every piece of myself into this. I haven't wanted something so bad since Tom Hiddleston.
Ok, ok... I haven't wanted something this bad since Emerson College.
After my interview I felt good about everything. I felt confident about the quality of my interview and I knew I had a very strong essay. Though I wasn't being over confident, I still knew I gave it my all.
I was told come January 11th decisions for study abroad would be made. The anticipation was gruesome.
January 10th rolled around and suddenly several friends of mine received phone calls informing them of their acceptance into the study abroad program. I kept waiting for my phone to ring too... it never did. Once 5:00 pm rolled around, the time at which the International Center closes, I started to lose hope. I would get texts and read posts on Facebook about everyone's acceptance.
Even though I knew I gave a good interview, I started to think maybe my luck wasn't changing after all. I am use to a life where a lot is taken and not much good is given. A life where I am given more hurdles than breaks. I am so use to putting myself out there and receiving nothing in return... In fact, more would be taken from me.
I started to question my possibility of getting into the program. I gave it my best and what if my best wasn't enough? What if I am not meant to have nice things? What if I will never be chosen for anything I set out to be a part of?
I know that might seem like a lot of emotions for "just a study abroad trip"... but this trip represents so much for me. Since attending Bunker Hill I am actually making REAL progress in my life. Being chosen to go to Costa Rica would show that my hard work really does pay off. It would show that maybe I really am good enough to accomplish what I set out to do. It would also give me the opportunity to experience something life changing. Studying in Costa Rica has become a dream of mine; just like interning at the BBC has been a dream of mine.
With that said, I was bummed out the whole night of the 10th. My boyfriend kept trying to be optimistic but I'd rather be hurt that night and pleasantly surprised the next day than get my hopes up just to be let down. The whole night I had dream after dream about going to the International Center and asking about my acceptance. Every dream ended with me being chosen. When I would wake up, I would feel all sad again because it was all just a dream.
I knew that I had to put myself out of my misery by calling them. I needed to get an answer, whether it was a "yes" or a "no", I just needed to know. That way I could deal with it and move on. The office opens at 9:00 am but I didn't want to be that eager and call right away... So I waited for 9:40. haha
My heart raced as I called the office.
Office: "Hello"
Me: "Hi, I am calling about the study abroad decisions."
Office: "Ok, hold one moment please."
Heather: "Hello, this is Heather speaking..."
Me: "Hello Heather, my name is Sarah LaFlamme. I am calling about the study abroad decisions."
Heather: "Have you received a phone call yet?"
Me: "No, I was told today was the day to find out so I wanted to call."
Heather: "Ok, let me access the files. Please give me a moment."
Me: "Ok."
Heather: "So, you're going to Costa Rica?"
Me: "I hope so. That is what I applied for."
Heather: "You have been awarded the scholarship to study in Costa Rica."
Me: "Oh my gosh, really?! Thank you so much!"
Heather: "You actually did really well!" (talking about the point system/my grade)
Me: "I am so happy to hear that. Thank you!"
I was then told that I will be receiving a call in the near future with more information, as well as receive an acceptance package in the mail.
I am so happy and excited. I am also very proud of the hard work I put into this opportunity.
Maybe my luck is starting to change?
Last summer I started to research the Costa Rica study abroad program offered through my school. The more I learned about it the more I had to go on this trip! I spent the next several months writing and perfecting my essay and application requirements. I also spent months preparing myself for the interview. During random parts of my day, every day, up until the interview, I would ask myself questions I thought would be asked during the interview. I even started running several days a week to start preparing myself physically if I were to be chosen.
The night before the interview I stayed up late writing out bullet points and answers to memorize. I had to make sure that in the case of blanking out because of anxiety, that I wouldn't! I sat and rehearsed my answers for hours. I put every piece of myself into this. I haven't wanted something so bad since Tom Hiddleston.
Ok, ok... I haven't wanted something this bad since Emerson College.
After my interview I felt good about everything. I felt confident about the quality of my interview and I knew I had a very strong essay. Though I wasn't being over confident, I still knew I gave it my all.
I was told come January 11th decisions for study abroad would be made. The anticipation was gruesome.
January 10th rolled around and suddenly several friends of mine received phone calls informing them of their acceptance into the study abroad program. I kept waiting for my phone to ring too... it never did. Once 5:00 pm rolled around, the time at which the International Center closes, I started to lose hope. I would get texts and read posts on Facebook about everyone's acceptance.
Even though I knew I gave a good interview, I started to think maybe my luck wasn't changing after all. I am use to a life where a lot is taken and not much good is given. A life where I am given more hurdles than breaks. I am so use to putting myself out there and receiving nothing in return... In fact, more would be taken from me.
I started to question my possibility of getting into the program. I gave it my best and what if my best wasn't enough? What if I am not meant to have nice things? What if I will never be chosen for anything I set out to be a part of?
I know that might seem like a lot of emotions for "just a study abroad trip"... but this trip represents so much for me. Since attending Bunker Hill I am actually making REAL progress in my life. Being chosen to go to Costa Rica would show that my hard work really does pay off. It would show that maybe I really am good enough to accomplish what I set out to do. It would also give me the opportunity to experience something life changing. Studying in Costa Rica has become a dream of mine; just like interning at the BBC has been a dream of mine.
With that said, I was bummed out the whole night of the 10th. My boyfriend kept trying to be optimistic but I'd rather be hurt that night and pleasantly surprised the next day than get my hopes up just to be let down. The whole night I had dream after dream about going to the International Center and asking about my acceptance. Every dream ended with me being chosen. When I would wake up, I would feel all sad again because it was all just a dream.
I knew that I had to put myself out of my misery by calling them. I needed to get an answer, whether it was a "yes" or a "no", I just needed to know. That way I could deal with it and move on. The office opens at 9:00 am but I didn't want to be that eager and call right away... So I waited for 9:40. haha
My heart raced as I called the office.
Office: "Hello"
Me: "Hi, I am calling about the study abroad decisions."
Office: "Ok, hold one moment please."
Heather: "Hello, this is Heather speaking..."
Me: "Hello Heather, my name is Sarah LaFlamme. I am calling about the study abroad decisions."
Heather: "Have you received a phone call yet?"
Me: "No, I was told today was the day to find out so I wanted to call."
Heather: "Ok, let me access the files. Please give me a moment."
Me: "Ok."
Heather: "So, you're going to Costa Rica?"
Me: "I hope so. That is what I applied for."
Heather: "You have been awarded the scholarship to study in Costa Rica."
Me: "Oh my gosh, really?! Thank you so much!"
Heather: "You actually did really well!" (talking about the point system/my grade)
Me: "I am so happy to hear that. Thank you!"
I was then told that I will be receiving a call in the near future with more information, as well as receive an acceptance package in the mail.
I am so happy and excited. I am also very proud of the hard work I put into this opportunity.
Maybe my luck is starting to change?
Monday, December 31, 2012
A folder to my future
So, I have this folder. It contains all the extra documentation needed to apply to Emerson College. I am awaiting one last letter of recommendation before handing it in to the transfer counselor at Emerson. Once I hand in this information the only thing left for me to finish is the revisions of my essays--then away goes my common application.
I can't help but open this folder at least once a day. It seems unreal that I am finally applying to my dream school. It feels like yesterday that I applied to Bunker Hill and had a whole degree in front of me before making it to Emerson. Now, here I am.
I have one semester left at Bunker Hill. I know it is going to be a good one. I am currently registered for two courses (in order to qualify for financial aid you must be registered for at least 6 credits) Intro to Mass Media and Level 2 German. January 11th I'll find out if I am selected to go on the Costa Rica study abroad, and if so that will be a third class added to my schedule. And another goal I put my all into to achieve. Fingers crossed.
The end is in sight. And with every ending comes a new beginning. I have put all of myself into this and I am so excited for what is to come. I know in life things don't always go according to plan and no matter what my future holds I will make the best of it. I always do.
I can't help but open this folder at least once a day. It seems unreal that I am finally applying to my dream school. It feels like yesterday that I applied to Bunker Hill and had a whole degree in front of me before making it to Emerson. Now, here I am.
I have one semester left at Bunker Hill. I know it is going to be a good one. I am currently registered for two courses (in order to qualify for financial aid you must be registered for at least 6 credits) Intro to Mass Media and Level 2 German. January 11th I'll find out if I am selected to go on the Costa Rica study abroad, and if so that will be a third class added to my schedule. And another goal I put my all into to achieve. Fingers crossed.
The end is in sight. And with every ending comes a new beginning. I have put all of myself into this and I am so excited for what is to come. I know in life things don't always go according to plan and no matter what my future holds I will make the best of it. I always do.
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