Just The Tip

I have been overwhelming myself with decisions and answers I can't possibly make or have yet. So much is left unwritten. With that said, I was talking to my friend about it. I was telling him how part of me wants to spread my wings and fly while the other part of me wants to stay put. I also went on to talk about sacrifices, regrets, and how much say we have in what is "meant to be". I mentioned how I struggle to stay happy being in one place but how being in one place is what I need right now. However, my internship abroad in London may be the escape I need before I return to finish my degree. My friend, who is EXACTLY like me, then responded with a statement that couldn't be any truer.



 "trust me...we are both built the same way. You have a taste of London for 3 months you are going to want to extend it for a year and then if you get lucky and land a permanent contract, which I am sure you can, you will take it....we don't do well with just the tip, we want the whole damn thing lol"

So that's why!

I think I have uncovered one of the main reasons I have been holding onto memories as much as I have been recently. Not only is it winter, so I have the seasonal depression kicking in... but because I have zero things going on. Zero exciting things, anyway. Yes, I graduate in June, I go to Costa Rica in May, and have several other little adventures planned. But, all of that feels so far away. I feel as though I am moving at a snails pace to get to them too.

I have a really laid back last semester. I am on campus only 3 days a week now. I spend my free time being creative which also makes it harder for me to get into my coursework. Being at home alone so much also leaves me plenty of time to be in my head. This can be a good and bad thing. Unfortunately, in the last few days, due to the winter, AND that special visit women get once a month, it hasn't been as good.

For someone who loves to wander and is never in one place for too long, I have been in one place too long. I need more travel. *sigh*  I'm getting there.

Stuck In the Middle With You

I am feeling "stuck in the middle."

I am nearing the end of my long journey to Emerson which has taken three years of hard work, little to no sleep, and a lot of self-motivation. After working so hard for so long I have a rather laid back last semester. I am taking one class which only meets once a week. This has opened up more hours for me to work and much more time to myself. I even started to write a script!  I haven't written a proper script since eighth grade. Even though that is how I wanted to spend my last semester before starting up the hard work again I keep finding myself eager to get to the point where I can actually start making money working in TV.

I have built a great academic resume and have years of experience working with a large diverse population of people along with a ton of other useful skills... but none of which could get me in the door to TV Production yet. As far as I know, anyway. When I browse through friends Facebook pages, a lot of whom have finished their undergraduate degrees, they are either working in their field or in grad school while also working in their field. I get so envious of this! I know my time is coming but I am just so eager to be there.

It just seems like all these people get to just live there lives doing all these exciting things while I am stuck here, not doing anything special per say, as I go through my transition. I know I will do exciting things in my future but it's the waiting part that feels like it lasts forever. I only submitted my application to Emerson 10 days ago and it already feels like an eternity. I keep going in circles of checking the Emerson Portal (even though I know nothing has changed), going to the BBC work experience page and day dreaming about possible future internships, researching Emerson acceptance rates, reading and re-reading the different Transfer Student info pages at Emerson.edu, drafting my prospective Emerson class schedule if accepted, researching the clubs and organizations I want to join while a student at Emerson, and so many other internet searches on the things I want to get involved in.

I can't stop anxiously waiting for May. May 15th is Emerson's decision notification day... My future depends on that decision. I can't help but be consumed by thoughts, concerns, and anxiety. That, and I seriously cannot wait to go to Costa Rica. Which, just so happens to start on May 18th. May is going to be a big month for me. Unless, of course, Emerson informs me of a decision before May. In which case, I suppose May will still be huge because I'M GOING TO COSTA RICA!!

I just can't wait to be living my dream. I can't wait til I am traveling, making TV magic happen, and making enough money to finally fully support myself, my needs and wants, and Ryan. I can't wait to be meeting big names and making a big name for myself. I can't wait to experience more of life and continue to grow as a person. I can't wait to give back to my community and help good causes. I just can't wait to have a life beyond college.

Travel Blog Anyone?

I was thinking of how I wanted to make a brief outline from past to present using photos... Then I remembered I started a travel blog awhile back.

It still isn't up to date, but maybe I will revamp it and complete it soon?

Ooor, maybe I will make an entry on blogger with photos dedicated to important events in my life on a timeline?

Until then, here is the link to my travel tumblr blog: http://whereinthe-world.tumblr.com/

What are your thoughts?