Showing posts with label doctor who. Show all posts
Showing posts with label doctor who. Show all posts

Monday, March 4, 2013

What You're Worth

Who knew that Doctor Who could bring me to tears so often?

I just finished watching Vincent and The Doctor and I must say what a beautiful episode that was. In this episode The Doctor takes Vincent Van Gogh to the Musée d'Orsay in the year 2010 to show him the exhibit made in his honor. Vincent, stunned and emotionally overwhelmed overhears Mr. Black, a curator, say:



The Doctor: "where do you think van Gogh rates in the history of art?"
Mr. Black: "well, um, big question. But, to me, Van Gogh is the finest painter of them all. Certainly the most popular, great painter of all time. The most beloved. His command of color the most magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray...but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of our world... no one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again. To my mind, that strange, wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the world's greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived."





Not only did that scene pull at my heart strings... but then I thought of the real tormented man. The man who took his life without ever knowing his true value. A man who will never know. Can you even imagine what it is like to suffer from depression, anxiety, and mental illness?  To feel so utterly sad and alone that ending your own life seems like a better option than living? Then, to imagine this tortured soul creating magnificent art--only to be ridiculed. He was undervalued, unappreciated, and bullied. I can't even begin to imagine what it was like to be in his emotional state while others only added salt to the wounds. He died probably believing he was a nobody... a worthless nobody. If only he could have known.

If only all of us could know our worth before death.

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

The Strange Man in a Blue Suit

My life has been filled with unexplainable occurrences.

Recently they've been frequently appearing as strange coincidences. Leading up to what just happened. Which, I am rather confused about. I also had a friend over who witnessed it happen.

Let me back track a few weeks to explain the "strange coincidences".

Ryan and I have been watching Doctor Who since Christmas time. We will watch it a few nights a week and usually multiple episodes in one night.

I had been pondering the concept of change and how nothing lasts forever; the only constant in life is change. Or death, but death is also a change from life. So, yes, the only constant is change. A few days later and this thought was already long gone from my mind. Ryan and I sat down to watch some Doctor Who. Several minutes into the episode the camera cuts to a close up of the tenth doctor, at which point he exclaimed "change is the only constant." It immediately triggered my memory of having that exact thought only days prior. I paused the show, told Ryan, and went about the rest of my night.

A night or two later I noticed an update on Facebook from Scarefest announcing a few of their 2013 guests. One of their guests is the host of the show Destination Truth. I'm not particularly a fan of this show but I respect that this person was able to make a career where he travels, investigates paranormal or mythological claims, and is a well known TV show host.  Something I would also like to do. Ryan had never seen the show so I offered to show him an episode. I opened Netflix on our PS3 and started browsing through the different seasons and episodes. I stopped at the episode on Pompeii and decided that soundsed like a cool one to watch. The next night Ryan and I decided to resume where we left off in Doctor Who. I opened it up in Netflix and before hitting the X button to play the episode I happened to glance at the title... The Fires of Pompeii... that marked the second coincidence in a row with this TV show. I pointed it out to Ryan.

A day or so later Ryan and I are laying on the couch taking a nap. I had a weird dream about bees. I was drowning them in some flavored liquid so they would also marinate. I wanted to add them into the ground beef I was browning. I remember being conflicted in my dream about eating the bees. I didn't want to but I also remembered a time where I did and liked it. I then awoke and told Ryan of my weird dream. I can't remember if it was later that day or the next day, but either way, Ryan and I went to watch Doctor Who. To my surprise the bad guy in this episode was a huge BEE! Not only that but the bee's father had drowned and died and at the end of that episode that bee drowned and died. That was now THREE times in a row where what I thought, dreamed, or did in real life showed up in Doctor Who. I actually felt weirded out at that point.

A few nights later and I have this absolutely wonderful dream about the Doctor flying me, Mrs. Cook, and another friend away by using the moon's light. The dream itself could be a separate blog entry. I woke up with such a happy feeling. The time period it was set in, the wardrobe, the carelessness, the absence of bad, just genuine, happy, innocent living (and dancing). It was beautiful. But, back to the point. The Doctor harnessed the energy to fly us across the sky by harnessing the energy from the light of the moon. Yes, in real life, I am aware that the moon only reflects the light of the sun and isn't an actual light source. Moving on... So another day or so goes by after I had that dream. Ryan and I once more sat down to watch Doctor Who. The episode was Silence in the Library. In this episode there is a character, Dr. Moon. I didn't think much of it until the scene where the Doctor is in the library and points his sonic screwdriver up at the moon and started to realize its purpose. The moon was an artificial moon that maintained the computer systems on the planet it orbited through wireless connection. This moon was built by Felman Lux to protect CAL, his youngest daughter who became the Library's computer. It was interesting to me that after having a dream specifically about the moon, that in the next episode I watched, the moon played a significant role.

I was able to finish season four without anymore of these coincidences. Not that I minded having them.

That leads me to today. My friend Matthew came over so we could journal all our ideas for a possible sitcom we want to write, film, and act in together. He had his acting debut in my parody Jurassic Sock. I was explaining to him why I chose certain clips to edit and why I left others out. I told him I still had the original exported video of each scene in chronological order. I wanted to play that for him to show him why it wouldn't work if presented in that way. Keep in mind I had exported this video as an mpeg several days ago. I watched it several times after exporting it and also had Ryan watch it. Nothing but my footage existed.

So, I opened the video and it started playing...except this time for a split second before my footage started there was a clip of a man in a blue suit, smiling, with his right hand in the air waving. You could see him from a little below his shoulders and up. It was almost cartoon caricature-like in the way that his head was made a lot larger than his body. I immediately paused the video, turned to Matt and asked "you saw that right?"  He did! He said he caught it at the corner of his eye so he wasn't able to make out specifics, but he saw it happen. I brought the video back to 00:00... Only my footage was showing. I started the video over multiple times and I also closed the whole program and re-opened it with the same video. Nothing but my normal footage played.

I don't really understand why the past few weeks have been filled with strange coincidences and now unexplainable things just occurring without coinciding with something else. But, it is exciting and I am interested in seeing what else may or may not happen.

Sunday, January 6, 2013

Tickle those ivories!

I put on some classical music and suddenly I'm in the mood...

 ...to blog.

 Yesterday was the last day of filming for Plastic, a short film written, produced, directed, and starring my friend John. I had a pretty significant role, I suppose. My character expressed the most emotion. Which was a really cool experience for me. I haven't acted in quite some time and since my initial awakening back in July I have been taking steps towards being an actress once again.

You can view my post about rediscovering my love for acting here: The Flame Flickers No More

I have been working on my anxiety when in front of new people or a crowd. So far I am pleased with the results. I do not over analyze nearly half as much as I use to. I am much more confident in who I am and my abilities. I am not a professional by any means, but I now have the courage to put myself out there in order to gain experience, learn, and grow. This role in Plastic gave me the opportunity to push through my insecurities and emote. I'd say it wasn't half bad considering. 

Being a part of Plastic not only gave me the opportunity to act and assist in directing, but it also gave me the opportunity to network with a group of people who are just as passionate and enthusiastic about film and production as I am. I can tell we are all going to continue to collaborate on each others projects in the future. Which makes me extremely happy. Finally, I am finding those who take the arts seriously. I look forward to what is to come.

On another note, I am submitting my Common Application materials to Emerson tomorrow. I have a folder filled with all the required materials I cannot submit online. Then, before January 22nd, my essays will have been proof read and revised, making my application ready to submit! AHHH!

Well, I am off to watch Doctor Who and cuddle with the boyfriend. <3 

Good night.