Thursday, March 14, 2013
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
As humans why can't we listen to wise words better? Why do we believe we will get a different result than those who have tried before us? I suppose it is for those moments when the chance we take proves the others wrong. However, one thing has proven true thus far; some things are better left in the past.
Maybe it was my expectations that ruined it for me.... maybe I foolishly thought things could be the way they were. In this instance, I romanticized a situation which didn't turn out at all the way I fantasized it would. Don't get me wrong, I asked and I received. Not all those who put themselves out there get what they are asking for. I got what I asked for... but it didn't live up to what I'd hope it'd be. Which makes it my fault, perhaps. My fault for building it up in my mind before I had anything to go on.
It all got me thinking about how nothing will ever be the way it use to be. I look through photos I took with friends over the years and it fills me with happy reminiscent feelings. I look at where we all are now and we have all taken such different paths. Paths that only lead us away from one another. No matter how bad you want to hold onto them you lost them a long time ago. No one is who they were in those moments captured on camera. Most chances are things will never be the same. There are, of course, the instances where timelines meet once again and things are even better the second time around! Lucky bastards.
How does one accept the fact that what they long for present day cannot happen and they must settle for memories? Of course they can make new friends and create new memories... and in time look back on that as well. How do we make it last? Who actually has real friends anymore that they see frequently or speak to often outside of school, work, or the internet? Why does life have to be so busy that it gets in the way of real human interaction and building bonds? Is there anyone out there who would choose to make the time to cherish the relationships they have?
I miss the day where companionship mattered.
Maybe it was my expectations that ruined it for me.... maybe I foolishly thought things could be the way they were. In this instance, I romanticized a situation which didn't turn out at all the way I fantasized it would. Don't get me wrong, I asked and I received. Not all those who put themselves out there get what they are asking for. I got what I asked for... but it didn't live up to what I'd hope it'd be. Which makes it my fault, perhaps. My fault for building it up in my mind before I had anything to go on.
It all got me thinking about how nothing will ever be the way it use to be. I look through photos I took with friends over the years and it fills me with happy reminiscent feelings. I look at where we all are now and we have all taken such different paths. Paths that only lead us away from one another. No matter how bad you want to hold onto them you lost them a long time ago. No one is who they were in those moments captured on camera. Most chances are things will never be the same. There are, of course, the instances where timelines meet once again and things are even better the second time around! Lucky bastards.
How does one accept the fact that what they long for present day cannot happen and they must settle for memories? Of course they can make new friends and create new memories... and in time look back on that as well. How do we make it last? Who actually has real friends anymore that they see frequently or speak to often outside of school, work, or the internet? Why does life have to be so busy that it gets in the way of real human interaction and building bonds? Is there anyone out there who would choose to make the time to cherish the relationships they have?
I miss the day where companionship mattered.
Thursday, March 7, 2013
I am often turned off by how quick people are to judge, label, and put things into a box.
When it comes down to it I try to look at the world like this: even when there is something I may not understand the appeal of there is always more than one dimension to it. I accept this and respect what I do not know but hope to discover and learn more about each thing in question. I try not to label something too quickly and put it in a box. Because, honestly, who am I to make that kind of judgement? The world and everything in it is not black and white. Everyone has their unique way they see the world and that vision, though shaped by culture, society, environment, psychology, genetics and in some cases religion, is also shaped through personal experience and exploration. I have truly enjoyed discovering new perspectives outside of the one I was raised to see through. I hope with more traveling and sharing life with others who live so differently from me that I can continue to expand my mind and my world view.
When it comes down to it I try to look at the world like this: even when there is something I may not understand the appeal of there is always more than one dimension to it. I accept this and respect what I do not know but hope to discover and learn more about each thing in question. I try not to label something too quickly and put it in a box. Because, honestly, who am I to make that kind of judgement? The world and everything in it is not black and white. Everyone has their unique way they see the world and that vision, though shaped by culture, society, environment, psychology, genetics and in some cases religion, is also shaped through personal experience and exploration. I have truly enjoyed discovering new perspectives outside of the one I was raised to see through. I hope with more traveling and sharing life with others who live so differently from me that I can continue to expand my mind and my world view.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Just The Tip
I have been overwhelming myself with decisions and answers I can't possibly make or have yet. So much is left unwritten. With that said, I was talking to my friend about it. I was telling him how part of me wants to spread my wings and fly while the other part of me wants to stay put. I also went on to talk about sacrifices, regrets, and how much say we have in what is "meant to be". I mentioned how I struggle to stay happy being in one place but how being in one place is what I need right now. However, my internship abroad in London may be the escape I need before I return to finish my degree. My friend, who is EXACTLY like me, then responded with a statement that couldn't be any truer.
"trust me...we are both built the same way. You have a taste of London for 3 months you are going to want to extend it for a year and then if you get lucky and land a permanent contract, which I am sure you can, you will take it....we don't do well with just the tip, we want the whole damn thing lol"
"trust me...we are both built the same way. You have a taste of London for 3 months you are going to want to extend it for a year and then if you get lucky and land a permanent contract, which I am sure you can, you will take it....we don't do well with just the tip, we want the whole damn thing lol"
Welcome to America!
**Disclaimer: This entry was written to express my interest in learning more about the economic situation in America VS Europe. Any and all things I vent about are based on what I have observed first hand. I do not claim to be a professor in economics.**
On February 19th I posted a status to Facebook asking U.S. citizens what makes them proud to be American. I did this in hopes to start a discussion about the positive aspects of living here and to possibly discover a sense of pride for my country. My status is as followed:
"Yanno, I hear so many people complain about America that I almost feel as though I have no pride in being American. That is not to be confused with having no appreciation for the opportunities living in America has given me. There is not a day I am not thankful for the life I have. But tell me, what makes YOU proud to be an American? Only serious, positive replies please. I am not looking for a debate on what sucks or could be better. I want to hear something positive about America for once."
The people who did respond all made good points. However, I am still left wondering if the quality of life would be better elsewhere? I want to learn more about how other countries operate. I hear much praise about wages, holiday, and health care over in Europe which makes it is hard not to consider relocating. But, what exactly would the trade off be?
At this very moment two things are bothering me about the "world" I am living in. By "world" I am referring to the reality of my existence here in America and what affects me directly. Such as, the reality of unequal wealth distribution, as well as the constant struggle to get ahead (student debt, never ending cycle of internships, no retirement fund or savings). Entry level psotitions and internships are not what they use to be. People are being overworked, underpaid (if they even get paid at all), and then disposed of for the next noobie who is willing to slave away for nothing. We spend so much time working hard, losing sleep, and cutting ourselves off from our friends and family in order to do this. We hope by overly committing that we will be recognized, promoted, and gain a career. Instead, we get jerked around. By the time we finally had enough of being taken advantage of and decide to move on-- the next place bends us over too. Thus, making it look like we are unemployable because we often seek a better workplace.
All I really want is to do what makes me happy for a living and to make enough money to support myself , as well as afford time with friends and family. Apparently that is too much to ask for in America.
Whenever I see something going around the internet I take it with a grain of salt. However, here is some food for thought:
Here is a NY Times article written about the struggle of getting ahead: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/03/fashion/for-20-somethings-ambition-at-a-cost.html?smid=fb-share
An article with a little bit of personality on the matter: http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-you-can-tell-economy-still-sucks_p2/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=fanpage&utm_campaign=new+article&wa_ibsrc=fanpage%2F
Just look at the debate in the comments section! Whatever the answer may be, there is clearly a problem.
Again, whenever I am feeling bothered by the state of my country, I am also aware of the fact that it could be much worse.
For those who live abroad, what do you like and dislike about your country? What do you like and dislike about America? If you could live any place where would it be and why?
When responding (if anyone responds) please think before you type and be respectful. All rude, disrespectful comments will be deleted.
On February 19th I posted a status to Facebook asking U.S. citizens what makes them proud to be American. I did this in hopes to start a discussion about the positive aspects of living here and to possibly discover a sense of pride for my country. My status is as followed:
"Yanno, I hear so many people complain about America that I almost feel as though I have no pride in being American. That is not to be confused with having no appreciation for the opportunities living in America has given me. There is not a day I am not thankful for the life I have. But tell me, what makes YOU proud to be an American? Only serious, positive replies please. I am not looking for a debate on what sucks or could be better. I want to hear something positive about America for once."
The people who did respond all made good points. However, I am still left wondering if the quality of life would be better elsewhere? I want to learn more about how other countries operate. I hear much praise about wages, holiday, and health care over in Europe which makes it is hard not to consider relocating. But, what exactly would the trade off be?
At this very moment two things are bothering me about the "world" I am living in. By "world" I am referring to the reality of my existence here in America and what affects me directly. Such as, the reality of unequal wealth distribution, as well as the constant struggle to get ahead (student debt, never ending cycle of internships, no retirement fund or savings). Entry level psotitions and internships are not what they use to be. People are being overworked, underpaid (if they even get paid at all), and then disposed of for the next noobie who is willing to slave away for nothing. We spend so much time working hard, losing sleep, and cutting ourselves off from our friends and family in order to do this. We hope by overly committing that we will be recognized, promoted, and gain a career. Instead, we get jerked around. By the time we finally had enough of being taken advantage of and decide to move on-- the next place bends us over too. Thus, making it look like we are unemployable because we often seek a better workplace.
All I really want is to do what makes me happy for a living and to make enough money to support myself , as well as afford time with friends and family. Apparently that is too much to ask for in America.
Whenever I see something going around the internet I take it with a grain of salt. However, here is some food for thought:
Here is a NY Times article written about the struggle of getting ahead: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/03/fashion/for-20-somethings-ambition-at-a-cost.html?smid=fb-share
An article with a little bit of personality on the matter: http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-you-can-tell-economy-still-sucks_p2/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=fanpage&utm_campaign=new+article&wa_ibsrc=fanpage%2F
Just look at the debate in the comments section! Whatever the answer may be, there is clearly a problem.
Again, whenever I am feeling bothered by the state of my country, I am also aware of the fact that it could be much worse.
For those who live abroad, what do you like and dislike about your country? What do you like and dislike about America? If you could live any place where would it be and why?
When responding (if anyone responds) please think before you type and be respectful. All rude, disrespectful comments will be deleted.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Silenced Stories
When was the last time you passed a cemetery
and considered the stories each tomb stone represents? Every stone marks
a life lived. Granted, not all who are there lived full lives, but for
those who did, what tales would they tell if they could? What did they
live through? Were they a part of any social movements? Wars? Or
politics? Did they contribute to society or take from it? Imagine what
we could learn just from listening.
What You're Worth
Who knew that Doctor Who could bring me to tears so often?
I just finished watching Vincent and The Doctor and I must say what a beautiful episode that was. In this episode The Doctor takes Vincent Van Gogh to the Musée d'Orsay in the year 2010 to show him the exhibit made in his honor. Vincent, stunned and emotionally overwhelmed overhears Mr. Black, a curator, say:
Not only did that scene pull at my heart strings... but then I thought of the real tormented man. The man who took his life without ever knowing his true value. A man who will never know. Can you even imagine what it is like to suffer from depression, anxiety, and mental illness? To feel so utterly sad and alone that ending your own life seems like a better option than living? Then, to imagine this tortured soul creating magnificent art--only to be ridiculed. He was undervalued, unappreciated, and bullied. I can't even begin to imagine what it was like to be in his emotional state while others only added salt to the wounds. He died probably believing he was a nobody... a worthless nobody. If only he could have known.
If only all of us could know our worth before death.
I just finished watching Vincent and The Doctor and I must say what a beautiful episode that was. In this episode The Doctor takes Vincent Van Gogh to the Musée d'Orsay in the year 2010 to show him the exhibit made in his honor. Vincent, stunned and emotionally overwhelmed overhears Mr. Black, a curator, say:
The Doctor: "where do you think van Gogh rates in the history of art?"
Mr. Black: "well, um, big question. But, to me, Van Gogh is the finest painter of them all. Certainly the most popular, great painter of all time. The most beloved. His command of color the most magnificent. He transformed the pain of his tormented life into ecstatic beauty. Pain is easy to portray...but to use your passion and pain to portray the ecstasy and joy and magnificence of our world... no one had ever done it before. Perhaps no one ever will again. To my mind, that strange, wild man who roamed the fields of Provence was not only the world's greatest artist, but also one of the greatest men who ever lived."
Not only did that scene pull at my heart strings... but then I thought of the real tormented man. The man who took his life without ever knowing his true value. A man who will never know. Can you even imagine what it is like to suffer from depression, anxiety, and mental illness? To feel so utterly sad and alone that ending your own life seems like a better option than living? Then, to imagine this tortured soul creating magnificent art--only to be ridiculed. He was undervalued, unappreciated, and bullied. I can't even begin to imagine what it was like to be in his emotional state while others only added salt to the wounds. He died probably believing he was a nobody... a worthless nobody. If only he could have known.
If only all of us could know our worth before death.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
In 2007...
It's so crazy to me thinking about how little I use to know. I am looking through pictures circa 2007 and all I can do is shake my head at my past self. Granted, I need to cut my past self some slack given the circumstances of which I grew up.
It still makes embarrassed though...
In 2007...
In 2013...
It still makes embarrassed though...
In 2007...
- I had no sense of femininity
- I had nothing of substance to contribute to a conversation
- I was socially awkward and super insecure
- I hadn't done enough living to fully develop likes and dislikes
- I was naive
- I was lost
- I was scared of disapproval and rejection
- I was scared of intimacy
- I had no voice
- I had no clue how to use my passion as a means of productivity toward a realistic career
- I had no specific direction
- I let my anxiety take control of the wheel more times than I would hold the wheel and drive
- I didn't know there was such thing as public transportation
- I had yet to discover the beauty of culture
- I had yet to gain knowledge on subjects such as psychology, cultural anthropology, philosophy, literature, ethics, and religion
- I also knew very little about punctuation and proper grammar
- My past very much still haunted me affecting me in ways I wouldn't realize for another three years
- I looked for attention in all the wrong places
In 2013...
- I'm fuckin' fabulous
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)